Let me paint your personality disorder

In violation of ethics rules in human relations and therapy, the Psychologist Kit Balane asked me to edit his paper for publication in the Philippine Journal of Psychology. That was how I became interested in Psychology.

Fatima Lasay, Baclayon, Bohol, 2024

ART HEALS WOUNDS

Let me paint your personality disorder – or how I became interested in Psychology presents over 30 paintings that I made between 2021 and 2022. I needed to make these paintings to express and survive the miserable effects of maltreatment in psychotherapy. I wasn’t really much of a painter. I just had to become one.

I studied Psychology to find out why Kit Balane’s therapy was so harmful. That was how I found the Code of Ethics.

Fatima Lasay

This Ethics Committee finds Respondent liable for violating III.E. (Human Relations, Multiple Relationships) and VIII.D.1, D.2, D.3, and D.4 (Therapy, Multiple Relationships) of the Code of Ethics for having engaged at multiple times with the Complainant in areas other than for professional purposes, such as purchase of ducks, and, more significantly, editing his paper for submission for publication to the Psychology Journal of the Philippines.

The Ethics Committee, Psychological Association of the Philippines, January 2023 in Quezon City

My paintings are naive and child-like. They are not photorealistic paintings. They do not even express what I see. I didn’t sit in the garden and paint the scenery. Instead, I sat within my soul and painted what I couldn’t see.

Then what is invisible becomes visible. The hidden truth sees the light. My suffering and its perpetrator is exposed. Wounds begin to heal.

Fatima Lasay

I was very vulnerable. I didn’t know how to assess the quality of a therapist. I was respectful, cooperative and maintained a positive attitude towards therapy. I was deceived into believing that Kit Balane had a PhD in Clinical Psychology and therefore had the competence due an advanced degree.

If indeed there was no intent on Respondent to falsely advertise, he should have just put “Ph.D. in Psychology Candidate”, or if he could not help indicate his “Ph.D. in Human Resource Management”, he should have indicated where it is appropriate– …That advertisement created impressions to the public, as did to Complainant, that he has a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology.

The Ethics Committee, Psychological Association of the Philippines, Quezon City, January 2023

This Ethics Committee finds Respondent liable of violating V, V.A.2, V.A.3, and V.A.4 of the Code of Ethics, which provide: … “V.A. Avoidance of False or Deceptive Statements

The Ethics Committee, Psychological Association of the Philippines, Quezon City, January 2023

Being deceived, blamed, shamed and threatened by the person I trusted in therapy had incalculable effects. Painting gave the complex affections the expression they needed. Truly the soul cries out to be heard.

Fatima Lasay

Kit Balane wrote in his desperate defense to the Ethics Committee, imputing a false diagnostic claim to another mental health professional: “Dr. Joy Bueno diagnosed her with Schizophrenia, paranoid type.” Yet I have never been diagnosed with mental illness.

If you are a mental health professional, humble yourself. Every person who walks into your clinic is a human being with a lived experience, not a disorder.

Fatima Lasay, letter to the Psychological Association of the Philippines, December 2021

During and after therapy with Kit Balane, I started depicting myself in my drawings and paintings as ill, ugly and dying. Then Kit Balane used my drawings as evidence against me.

Fatima Lasay

WHEREFORE, in view of the foregoing, this Ethics Committee finds Respondent guilty of violating V (Advertisements and Public Statements), III.E. (Human Relations, Multiple Relationships) as well as VIII. 0.1, 0.2, 0.3, and D. 4 (Therapy, Multiple Relationships) of the Code of Ethics.

The Ethics Committee, Psychological Association of the Philippines, January 2023 in Quezon City
Broken with Black Bird by Fatima Lasay
Broken with Black Bird

Were it not for the suffering caused, it all would have been wholly comical. Imagine, after I stopped therapy and filed an ethics complaint, I got plenty of diagnostic labels.

Fatima Lasay

Bitterness is a sinful response to suffering. Art is a healing response to suffering. Art heals wounds.

Art heals wounds.

Painting is wonderful. I have never painted so much in all of my life before. In painting I can express painful emotions and memories into beautiful ones. In painting I have a voice.

Fatima Lasay