Now I am about to finish the final draft of a book of poetry. I asked my friends to look and comment. By that time I was more focussed on writing poetry. There was a very good comment from Ferdi. But I didn’t really see them as paintings. I see them as poems.
But looking at the book again, it is a very important personal project. My husband says he has an active critical mind. It’s a collection of forty-five poems that I wrote over five months. He likes to criticise and interrogate my work. I wrote the poems during a very difficult time in my life. Without the pleasure of creative work I fell deeply depressed.
I missed my mother and sister terribly. These are why I am exhausted. So today, I am making changes to the draft of the book. I feel much better. One afternoon I remember I was neck-deep in the water and the tide was coming in. For a moment I felt I was very tired and needed to rest.
This afternoon I received a very kind and thoughtful message from Imeng, a friend from needlework. I have been sick because of this. I very much like to do that too. My husband loves me deeply and I also love him. I get ignored sometimes. But I want things to change. My tumors are all behaving themselves too. Like what Imeng may have done for me.
Fatima Lasay, Quezon City
Monday, June 30, 2014